Pinky and the Brain: July 1996

Cover

Drawn by: Walter Carzon

The mice are standing on a globe. They're dressed as female superheroes, with long, flowing wigs and makeup, and they're stuffing huge wads of tissue inside their costumes to make huge bustlines. The Brain says, "Trust me, Pinky. This is what it takes to be BIG in comics!"

Legend of the Dark Night

Credits

• Writer: Bobbi JG Weiss, David Cody Weiss, and Robert Graff
• Penciller: Walter Carzon
• Inker: Mike DeCarlo
• Letterer: John Costanza
• Colorist: Jo Meuginot

Synopsis

The Brain's plan for tonight requires having over a million people in America flush their toilets simultaneously. This will create a massive effect, causing everyone within a hundred feet of a toilet to be sucked to the seat and held there. To achieve the needed participation, he will need over a million minions who will do his bidding without hesitation. Unfortunately, he's over a million minions short.

They look outside for a moment and see a crowd waiting outside a nearby comics shop. Pinky explains that it's the delivery day for the week's new comic books, and that he admires superheroes so much that he'd do anything for one. The Brain sees the germ of a plan in Pinky's statement, and decides to become a superhero himself. He starts to ponder the characteristics of superheroes. Pinky, a serious comics fan, outlines them succinctly, but the Brain doesn't believe him, and so they go out shopping for comic books to get some hard data.

After they return, the Brain upgrades the lab computer and connects it to the lab's laser array, which, in turn, powers the transformation chamber. Once the computer is fed the comic book data, it will transform the mice into the perfect superhero and the perfect sidekick. Pinky points out that he already knows everything about comic books, but the Brain feeds the computer anyway, pointing out that at least the computer has an off switch. This sends Pinky into a recitation of the characteristics of sidekicks. As he reaches the end, the computer spits out the listing of the needed characteristics, and it proves that Pinky - for once - knows what he's talking about. They enter the transformation chamber. The computer begins the transformation just as Pinky pulls out a comic book. The presence of inorganic material in the chamber causes the transformation to go awry...

They emerge rom the chamber to see that their transformation has been successful. The book's presence in the chamber has turned the entire city into a comic book metropolis as well. While they're deciding what to do next, they are surrounded by villains, and must fight their way out. In the process, they discover that they have gained not only new clothes, but super powers as well. They clobber the villains just in time to see their computer being stolen.

The thief is the Brain's evil counterpart, Dark Brain. He tries to enlist the Brain to help him overthrow the real ruler of this world and take control, but Pinky prevents him from doing so. They fall from a helicopter into the Brain's secret lair, the Brain Cave, and the memories produce a flashback to Pinky's supposed origin. The Brain interrupts the flashback in time to take a phone call. It turns out to be from his computer, which tells him where it has been taken. They depart immediately.

The Brain quickly discovers he can't fly - the hard way - but Pinky can, and they fly off in search of the computer. They have a few mishaps along the way, the final one being a collision with Wonder Woman's invisible jet. She gives them a ride to the Fortress of Fortitude, where the computer has been taken. It's a trap, though, and Dark Brain quickly subdues Pinky with the aid of a few henchmen. The Brain counters with a knock from a ruler, and Dark Brain is put out of action.

The war is not won, however, for a new force reveals himself as the true ruler of the world: Dark Pinky. He is the one who has been pulling Dark Brain's strings. He also has psychic powers that allow him to read minds. He intends to use the laser array to transform himself into the ultimate supervillain of all time. He must first get rid of the good guys, however, so he straps them to a machine to do them in. As the Brain is saying his goodbyes, Pinky gets an idea. He asks Dark Pinky, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?". Dark Pinky takes the bait and reads Pinky's mind, only to be stunned by the lack of anything worth reading.

Pinky and the Brain free themselves and reenter the transformation chamber. The Brain realizes that, without another copy of the exact issue that Pinky had during the first transformation, they would be stuck in that reality. Pinky takes a copy from the still-stunned Dark Pinky, and they perform the reverse transformation successfully.

Back in their cage, the Brain realizes that he has defeated both Dark Brain and Dark Pinky, and therefore actually took over the world - and yet nothing has changed for him. Pinky has made something to cheer him up: a comic book about the adventure, in the hope that, after a few issues, he will have the minions he needs. Of course, who'd want to read about two lab mice trying to take over the world...?

Did You Notice...

• The title is a reference to the Batman series Legends of the Dark Knight. The costumes that Pinky and the Brain wear also refer to the Batman and Robin characters.
• Waterworld is the standard 1996 example of a movie that bombed, though it actually didn't do that badly.
• I shouldn't have to tell this audience that Wednesday is really the delivery day for new comic books...
• The four covers on page 4 are spoofs of real comics: Squirrel-Verine refers to Marvel Comics' Wolverine, a spinoff of the X-Men series; Fawn refers to Todd MacFarlane's Spawn; Le Facial Masque refers to Dark Horse Comics' The Mask; and Bughead refers to Archie Comics' Jughead. The art, lettering, and other features of each cover are faithful to the originals.
• The Doors.9999 vocal interface program refers to Windows 95.
• Pinky's descriptions of the characteristics of the perfect superhero and sidekick are deadly accurate.
• "It's clobberin' ti(me!)" refers to the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers trademark line, "It's morphin' time!".
• The Dark Brain and Dark Pinky characters are a bow to a common comics plot device, the evil counterpart of the hero.
• There's a Rattra doll, from Jingle Narf, in the Brain Cave.
• The computer was named Gordon just to set up the reference on page 17 to Gordon on the red phone, referring once again to Batman, this time to Commissioner Gordon of the Gotham City Police. He 's the only one to call Batman on his red phone.
• A splash page is a page with one big drawing on it, usually (but not always) at the beginning of a story.
• Wonder Woman's lasso forces anyone tied up with it to tell only the truth.
• The comment about "outside our calling circle" refers to MCI's Friends and Family long distance calling plans, which have the greatest discounts for calls placed to predesignated phone numbers.
• The Fortress of Fortitude refers to Superman's hideaway, the Fortress of Solitude.
• Yes, comics narrators are always that dramatic.

Technical nits

• Pinky's tail is missing as the rubber band hits him on page 1, in the first and last panels on page 16, in the next-to-last panel on page 29, and in the first panel on page 30.
• Comic books, being printed on paper, aren't inorganic material. Perhaps a better phrase would be "non-living material".
• Pinky's costume is inconsistently drawn: most fo the time he has no bands on his tail, one green stripe on his right leg, and none on his left leg, but those aren't universally true.
• Jets don't have windshield wipers. They'd be torn off at the speeds at which a jet operates.
• Pinky's tail isn't colored in one panel on page 30.
• The costume Pinky is removing should be black, not green. (page 30)
• Pinky's right leg is in a strange position as he runs back into the chamber on page 31.