My geek code, decoded...

The full code, in all its glory, is:

GCM d- s:+ a C++ USLHBAIOC++++$ P---(+) L++$ E- W++ N++ o++ K+++ w(---) O M V+++(-) PS+ PE++ PGP Y+ t+ 5 !X R tv b+++ DI+++ !D G++ e h+ -r y?

Here's what it means:

Geek: GCM
I'm a geek of computer management.
Dress: d-
I'm usually in jeans and a T-shirt.
Shape: s:+
I'm the height of an average geek.

I'm a little rounder than most.

Age: a
I'm between 30 and 39.
Computers: C++
Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I mud on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic probation.
Unix: USLHBAIOC++++$
Solaris, Linux, HP-UX, BSD, AIX, IRIX, OSF/1, and SCO Unix: I am the sysadmin. If you try and crack my machine, don't be surprised if the municipal works department gets an "accidental" computer-generated order to start a new landfill on your front lawn or your quota is reduced to 4K.

Making money at this.

Perl: P---(+)
I range from ...

Perl combines the power of sh, the clarity of sed, and the performance of awk with the simplicity of C. It should be banned.

... to ...

I know of perl. I like perl. I just haven't learned much perl, but it's on my agenda.

Linux: L++$
I use Linux ALMOST exclusively on my system. I've given up on trying to achieve Linux.God status, but welcome the OS as a replacement for DOS. I only boot DOS to play games.

Making money at this.

Emacs: E-
Emacs is just too big and bloated for my tastes.
World Wide Web: W++
I have a homepage. I surf daily. My homepage is advertised in my .signature.

Usenet: N++
I read all the news in a select handful of groups.
Usenet Oracle: o++
I have made the Best Of Oracularities.
Kibo: K+++
I've gotten mail from Kibo.
Windows: w(---)
I range from ...

Ok, so I use MS Windows, I don't have to like it. ... to ...

Windows has set back the computing industry by at least 10 years. Bill Gates should be drawn, quartered, hung, shot, poisoned, disembowelled, and then REALLY hurt.

OS/2: O
I finally managed to get OS/2 installed but wasn't too terribly impressed.
Macintosh: M
I use a Mac, but I'm pretty indifferent about it.
VMS: V+++(-)
I range from...

I am a VMS sysadmin. I wield far more power than those UNIX admins, because UNIX can be found on any dweeb's desktop. Power through obscurity is my motto.

... to ...

Unix is much better than VMS for my computing needs.

Politics and social issues: PS+
My whole concept of liberalism is that nobody has the right to tell anybody else what to do, on either side of the political fence. If you don't like it, turn the bloody channel.
Politics and economic issues: PE++
Keep the government off the backs of businesses. Deregulate as much as possible.
Cypherpunks: Y+
I have an interest and concern in privacy issues, but in reality I am not really all that active or vocal.
Pretty Good Privacy: PGP
I've used it, but stopped long ago.
Trek: t+
It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things good on television any more.
Babylon5: 5
I've seen it, I am pretty indifferent to it.
The X-Files: !X
I've never watched The X-Files.
Roleplaying: R
Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a Saturday afternoon.
Television: tv
I watch only the shows that are actually worth while.
Books: b+++
I consume a few books a week as part of a staple diet.
Dilbert: DI+++
I am a Dilbert prototype.
I've never played DOOM!
Geek code: G++
I know what each letter means, but sometimes have to look up the specifics.
Education: e
I have finished high school.
Housing: h+
Living alone, get out once a week to buy food, no more than once a month to do laundry. All surfaces covered.
Relationships: r-
I've have difficulty maintaining a relationship.
Sex[m]: y?
It's none of your business what my sex life is like.

The full geekcode was written by Robert A. Hayden, of Mankato State University.
Jay Maynard,

Last updated 24 June 2000